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Thursday, 25 February 2010

Top 5: Harrison Ford Movies
5. Apocalypse Now
Ranked at No. 5 just on the basis that Harrison isn't in it that much. Its controlled by much bigger stars but the fact that you remember Ford bringing a quite assurance in the beginning scenes of the film speaks of his increasing Hollywood clout at that time. It may not be a major role for ford but lets face it, Apocalypse Now is a classic film and must be on a list of this sort.

4. The Mosquito Coast
Ford controls his descent into madness in such a confident and terrifying way it seems a shame that this film still sits under the radar of many people. It's one of the first films where Ford shows his versatility and shows that there was a lot more to this actor that being the everyday hero. If you've not seen this check it out because your missing one of Fords great performances here.

3. Blade Runner
This was always going to be the list wasn't it. Its a sci-fi classic where other films of its genre are still held up to in comparison. Sure the visuals are what alot of people talk about, but the story and characters couldn't have gelled so well if it wasn't for Ford's downbeat portrayal of Deckhard bringing it all together. Rated as one of his best 'acting' roles this remains a colossal performance with everyone still asking "Is he, or isn't he?!"

2. Star Wars IV: A New Hope
Han Solo at number two. It's rare to see him in that position but never the less here he sits. Yes for me its second place on the list for Solo. Cocky, assured and embodying every aspect of what was asked of him makes it a role that will cement him in geek mythology forever. Its amazing that he ever managed to shrug the baggage of Solo from his shoulders and have the varied career he did, I mean just ask Mark Hamill.

1. Raiders Of The Lost Ark
For me there can be only one number one, Indiana Jones. Its a nostalgic choice but one which I do not reject. The storyline, the characters, the action and adventure, there's not been a film which has swept me up as much as Raiders. Ford came into the film with a "I'm Han Solo" badge around his neck and within the first five minutes of the film manages to erase this completely. Amazing performance and astounding film.

And The Worst ..........

5. Star Wars: The Holiday Special
What the hell was everyone thinking? Look, I know the prequels were awful but they don't even come close to this travesty of a show. Hated by literally everyone, not the majority, not the odd few, everyone on Planet Earth hates it, Christ when even George Lucas doesn't want anything to do with it you know you've reached rock bottom.

So there's my list, it's only my opinion and in no way a definite choice I'm forcing on anyone. If you have a list you want to add, or differences of opinion to mine, the comments section is open as always.

Wednesday, 24 February 2010

Absolutely Insane Movie Posters

Full Moon High - I am not afraid gurning Werewolfs who have less hair than just one of Robin Williams hands. As such I am not afraid of you gurning Werewolf man.

Motel Blue - I am however slightly afraid of this. Why is there an eye floating in the back ground? Why the purple when the motel is blue? Prince must run this hotel, and he's watches you. With his one eye?

The Day Of The Dolphin - I'm sorry what? You unwittingly trained a dolphin to kill the president? I'm trying to figure out the logistics of this but my brain just melted into my dolphin friendly tuna sandwich. I'm sorry George C Scott but you are a liar.

Forced Vengeance - Ah this is more like it. Chuck Norris is a walking weapon that never misses. Damn straight. I can imagine Chuck outling his thoughts for the poster "It needs to have me, smashing through a window landing an elbow drop on the title, snapping it in half with lots of mini-me's kick the crap out of people". Every single movie exec in the room nods in agreement. And rightly so.

Yogi Bear - Yogi, what are you doing to Boo Boo? What does that tag line say again "Great things come in Bears". Dear God Boo Boo, NOOOOooooooooo!

Heavy Petting - Photoshop at its worst. Exactly just what is the purpose of that dog and why is its tongue licking its own face?

Radioactive Dreams - I don't get it. I just don't get it.

Death Cage - This mortal knows combat. Apparently. The fact that he actually looks like he's in a hamster wheel with spikes being attached by kung fu midgets makes this cage seem less frightening.

Paternity - That's right, Burt Reynolds want YOU to have his baby. This sounds more like a direct order that a request which would make it ..... well errrr rape? I just lost a lot of respective for you Burt Reynolds.

Shamus - And then you go and redeem yourself by becoming a topless hitman. God bless you Burt Reynolds.

Hooper - Arrraghh my eyes, my beautiful eyes, the blue, the blue. What now Burt? Oh your the greatest stuntman alive? Cool. You know every summer I'd been thinking "something's missing" but couldn't put my finger on it. Now I know, its Burt Reynolds.

Bullitt (Germany) - I'm too terrified to write anything.

Star Wars (Russia) - Whoever decided to make Darth Vader some weird robotic disco puma needs therapy. Seriously can anyone make any sense of this? Thought not.

One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest (Turkey) - I know lets put random Jack Nicholson bits from each of his other movies on this poster but none from the actual film its supposed to be advertising. Yeah that makes sense. Also how the hell did Christopher Lee and zombies get in there?

Up The Sandbox - No, me neither.

Once Crazy Summer - Jack Nicholson as the Sun. WTF?

Raiders Of The Lost Ark (Poland) - Going forward Indy has been turned into some weird strategic Flowchart. Still for foreign movie posters this isn't that bad.

Gremlins - This, on the other hand, is. Angry green triangles on springs steal man who wears a santa mask's hat.

I don't know what film this is from, all I know is that I want to be that man. Nails.

Classics Corner: Forbidden Planet (1956)
A starship crew goes to investigate the silence of a planet's colony only to find two survivors and a deadly secret that one of them has.

Watching Forbidden Planet brought back many memories of lazy Sunday afternoon's in front of the TV glued to episodes of Land Of The Giants, Time Tunnel and Voyage To The Bottom Of The Sea. After these there would always be an 'old school' sci-fi movie on, and every time I hoped it would Forbidden Planet.

I know that Forbidden Planet was way before I was born, in fact a good twenty years before, but there was something about it that intrigued me. I've always been a fan of movies that detach itself away and concentrate on a loan band of people fighting against a common enemy - see The Thing, Predator and Aliens for a few classic examples. Well although Forbidden Planet doesn't sit as highly as those aforementioned  films it's still hold a special place in the nostalgic childhood memory part of my heart.

Many people, especially those of the younger variety gorging themselves on CGI Bayhem, may find the whole thing laughable and to be fair through those eyes I can imagine it is. Through my eyes however, its a classic tale crammed with so much originality (even though its loosely based on Shakespeare's The Tempest) for its time that should remain a staple diet for anyone who is a fan of sci-fi.

A distant planet goes silent so a Starship Crew head out to investigate, on doing so they discover only two survivors, one of which holds a secret to Alien technology that could be lethal in the wrong hands. Cutting edge special effects (for its time), impressive sets and the first all electronic score for a movie, Forbidden Planet created a yardstick for all other sci-fi movies of its time to beat which very few of them did.

If you've not seen Forbidden Planet yet, seek it out, try not to compare to what is around now and I'm sure you'll have a great time with it.

Wednesday, 17 February 2010

Actors Who Lost Their Way
Robin Williams
The man who starred in great films such as Good Morning Vietnam, Dead Poets Society, The Fisher King and Good Will Hunting now stars in fare such as Flubber, License To Wed, Night At The Museum and Old Dogs. When you talk about range Williams has it all, just look at the 'great' list above, he can go from zany to dramatic in a blink of an eye and what's important is that he does it with complete conviction and that's what makes it believable. Its a shame to see him in the turgid films he now stars, although World's Greatest Dad maybe a step on the ladder back to the good times.

Robert DeNiro
I'm not going to insult your intelligence by listing the great DeNiro movies, you know them and you know the man and what a colossus actor he is. This is why it really pains me to see him in the likes of Righteous Kill (Pacino I'm looking at you too), Hide And Seek, Showtime (oh Eddie I'm coming to you soon),  Godsend and *stares blankly* Rocky & Bullwinkle. Dear Mr Scorsese please re-hire your old mate, he needs you.

Cuba Gooding Jr
Jerry McGuire, As Good As It Gets, hey this guy might have some serious talent. Boat Trip, Norbit, Daddy Day Camp, no he hasn't, he's shit.

John Travolta
The man who Quentin Tarantino famously brought back from obscurity and crap like Look Who's Talking Now with Pulp Fiction. Travolta got a second chance at the big time but decided to trade it for being the 'token' bad guy in every average action movie out there, Swordfish, Broken Arrow, Face Off, The Punisher the list goes on and on. You need a rubbish baddie? dial-a-Travolta has what you need.

Eddie Murphy
Eddie, Eddie, Eddie where do we begin. Beverley Hills Cop I & II, 48hrs, Coming To America and Trading Places all great movies, even your average fare like The Golden Child was enjoyable but now ..... Dr Dolittle, The Nutty Professor, Pluto Fucking Nash, Daddy Day Care, Norbit and Meet Dave just to name a few of the utter garbage you spew out these days. Please, Eddie, sack you agent now, the fact that you didn't get the Richard Pryor Movie means something is very very wrong.

Have I missed or forgotten anyone else ... comments below!