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Wednesday, 27 January 2010

10 Actors/Actresses who shouldn't be Actors/Actresses
10. Sarah Jessica Parker
Not only do you have a face that looks like it was grafted from a horse, you have zero screen presence, zero personality and believe that to make a good movie you just have to wear designer clothes. Someone who preaches the idea that the worst thing in the world is to be poor needs to be turned to glue.

Correct Profession: Primark factory worker in India

9. Jennifer Aniston
Ok, so we know your the go-to woman for every single turgid, unfunny rom-com around but the fact that you make these inept films even worse says alot about your 'acting' credentials. Your one saving grace is Office Space, but the fact that every scene your in is made toe curling uncomfortable by your lack of charisma or talent means you nearly ruined a fantastic movie.

Correct Profession: Waitress (with extra flair)

8. Rob Scheinder
Do I really have to justify you being on the list? You struck lucky with Deuce Bigelow which was acceptable but everything you've been attached to afterwards is just plain awful. I wish I had a friend like Adam Sandler who puts me in loads of movies just out of sheer pity for my looks and lack of a soul.

Correct Profession: Elvis Impersonator - Dwarf Category

7. Hayden Christensen
This maybe a personal thing Hayden but I can't look past it. My main beef is of course with George but the fact that you didn't even try? Did you even watch the originals? Did you even have any sense of what you had taken on? Were you bullied by a Star Wars fan as a child and thus decided to try and kill everything that reminded you of those days? Why Hayden, Why?!

Correct Profession: Carpenter

6. Neve Campbell
Really, what of any note have you been in other than the Scream trilogy? I think I've seen you in other stuff but then realise it's just an extra, which of course is all you really are. The only talent I can see in you is the 'how to look completely bored and uninterested' look, which you have perfected. By the way, what is it with your IMDB picture, you look like your 45?!

Correct Profession: Organ Grinder

5. Julia Roberts
Jesus your smug. I've only seen a handful of your films but in everyone you just ooze pompousness and a holier than thou attitude. It really seems like you go out of your way to alienate the audience, every role played the same way, cock sure and full of self importance. In Sleeping With The Enemy I'd have thrown you off that boat long, long ago.

Correct Profession: Dentists Model.

4. Ashton Kutcher
And onto you Ashton. Where to begin? If you look up the word annoying in the dictionary you won't find a picture of yourself but a definition of the the word annoying which is what you are. I'm still trying to figure out how you get work, yes I know you've got no idea what is going on and I'm sure there's an element of ADD attached but this is no excuse. Stop appearing in films. I can help you. I can help you find a real purpose in life.

Correct Profession: Dolphin Whisperer

3. Lucas Cruikshank
Just watch this trailer here and you'll see why he's on the list. Fuck me.

Correct Profession: Anchor. On a Boat. That's permanently moored.

2. Paris Hilton
It's amazing what money can by you, except of course talent and likeability that is. I think I can safely say, with complete confidence, that your entry on this list will not be argued by anyone. It's almost upsetting watching you 'act', you can actually feel the director and producers hands being forced by your dad and his money "put my daughter in this film. I can make people come to your home. Bad people" You serve no purpose on this planet least of all infecting us with your presence in movies.

Correct Profession: Prostitute

1. Hugh Grant
Your just an abomination to everything associated with film. There is nothing good about you or what you do. I can't put down in words just how repulsive you are to me. You make me vomit blood everytime I see one of your trailers. I would rather eat a decaying pile of rats followed by a vat of human sick than watch one of your movies.

Correct Profession: Corpse


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